Vulnerability is for the weak.
There is something about Christmas week that quietly invites reflection. Whether it is the natural closing of one year and the anticipation of another, or simply the slowing of our routines, the season creates space to recalibrate. The year settles. The noise softens, of course after the rush of last minute Christmas shopping. And we find ourselves alone with our thoughts a little more than usual. After a year defined by constant movement, it is easy to slip into another cycle of rushing, even during a season meant for rest. But what happens when the dust finally settles and the noise truly quiets? That extra time can feel unfamiliar. Do we rush to fill it, or do we allow ourselves to slow down and sit with it?
Many fill the quiet with tasks or distractions, not because they are necessary, but because stillness requires honesty. And it is often there, in that unguarded pause, that vulnerability is tested. That pause can feel uncomfortable, especially when vulnerability is mistaken for exposure rather than understood as alignment.
Vulnerability is one of the most overused and misunderstood words in our culture. For some, it has come to mean saying everything you feel the moment you feel it. For others, it has become synonymous with emotional exposure without responsibility. Both interpretations miss something essential, because vulnerability detached from discernment loses its power and its purpose.
Biblically, vulnerability is not chaos, but truth approached with humility. While many might believe or know vulnerability as a moment of “unloading”, it is not. In fact, it is about alignment. See, Scripture does not invite us to speak everything, but it does invite us to examine everything. (Lamentations 3:40; Proverbs 29:11)
What we often miss is that vulnerability itself is not the danger. Exposure alone does not determine the outcome, and a hazard only becomes a disaster when underlying conditions exist. Capacity, preparedness, structure, and response determine whether something overwhelms or strengthens. Two people can face the same event and walk away with entirely different outcomes.
The same is true internally. Vulnerability is not defined by what is revealed, but by what is already present beneath the surface. Awareness, humility, discernment, and environment determine whether truth heals or harms. When those conditions go unexamined, vulnerability turns into release without direction. When they are tended carefully, vulnerability becomes formative rather than destructive. That is why Scripture emphasizes examination before expression in Lamentations 3:40:
“Let us test and examine our ways.”
That examination requires more than expression, and I believe it requires self-awareness.
Self-awareness does not simply happen, but it is often triggered by a moment we did not plan for—a tension, a reaction, a conviction, or a realization that something within us is misaligned. As we all can relate, when that moment happens, it feels like a light turning on; not because clarity suddenly arrives, but because we can no longer ignore what we see! Why? Discernment has interrupted us.
The danger of skipping self-awareness is that vulnerability becomes performance rather than practice.
True vulnerability begins there. Not with speaking, but with seeing.
We have all spoken what felt honest at the time, without recognizing what was quietly forming within us. Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 23:7, that our inner life quietly shapes our outer one:
“For as he thinks within himself, so he is.”
The thoughts we rehearse, the behaviors we repeat, the environment we remain in, and the knowledge we consume all contribute to our level of awareness. If those inputs go unexamined, patterns [cycles] form unnoticed. Over time, those patterns [cycles] feel normal, even when they are misaligned and begin to shape our actions more than our true calling.
This is what I describe in Stuckness: Within The Stronghold as the slow formation of an inner stronghold—not something dramatic or overt, but something familiar. Strongholds are rarely built through rebellion; they are built through repetition. What is repeated without reflection becomes reinforced without resistance. Eventually, the very patterns meant to protect us begin to confine us. That is why awareness matters. You cannot confront what you have normalized, and you cannot surrender what you refuse to name.
Repetition creates patterns; reflection creates progress—and wisdom is found when consistency joins the two. - Stuckness: Within The Stronghold
“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!” - Psalm 139:23.
Prayer cannot be passive. It is an invitation for God to illuminate what we might prefer to avoid. And often, what He reveals feels uncomfortable before it feels clarifying. Due to the uncomfortable moments, discomfort is felt and we will tend to believe that it is a sign that something is wrong. It is often a sign that truth has touched a protected place.
I am a firm believer that our environment matters here. What surrounds us either sharpens or dulls discernment. The voices we listen to, the content we consume, and the pace at which we live quietly shape what we tolerate and what we notice. Romans 12:2 speaks directly to this process:
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”
Renewal requires awareness. Awareness requires reflection. Reflection requires the willingness to pause instead of rushing past conviction.
We might think that vulnerability is the goal; but it is not. Alignment is. The purpose of seeing clearly is not self-criticism but course correction. The light does not turn on so we can stay exposed. It turns on so we can walk forward differently. Which is why vulnerability must be grounded in humility. Without humility, awareness turns into self-analysis or self-justification. With humility, awareness becomes discernment.
“For the word of God is living and active…discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” - Hebrews 4:12
Perhaps the better question is not whether we are being vulnerable, but whether we are being honest enough to sit with what discernment reveals. I encourage you to remember that self-awareness keeps vulnerability anchored. Humility keeps it safe. And when truth is welcomed rather than resisted, growth no longer has to be forced. It becomes formed.
At Christmas, we remember that Jesus entered the world in perfection and humility, yet was not received by all. This season reminds us not to anchor our worth in human approval, recognition, possessions, or outcomes, but to commit our lives to serving God and walking faithfully in His will. As we take time to reflect, I pray that this Christmas season is filled with prayer and discernment, joy and true gladness.
F.P.
Thought-Provoking Questions:
Where might I be expressing honesty without taking responsibility for growth?
Where might humility be the missing condition that turns awareness into wisdom?
What might God be illuminating that I have learned to tolerate instead of surrender?