Moving from Showing Up to Leaning In

Stop offering help because you really do not want to.

A lot of people say they are available—but let’s be honest, there is a big difference between just being available and being willing.

You can be in the room, on the call, or even in prayer—and still not be truly present. That is what I would call passive availability.

It sounds like, “Let me know if you need me,” or “I am here if anything comes up.”

It is safe.

Controlled.

It feels humble on the surface—but underneath, it can be fear. Fear of messing up. Fear of stepping too far. Or fear of being asked to do more than we are ready for.

And here is the thing: passive availability rarely changes anything.

Let me tell you a quick story.

I have a friend from a previous work life—let’s call him Victor.

Victor worked in a different department. He was steady. Solid. The kind of guy you can always count on to show up early, take notes, and say thank you. He has been on his company’s leadership team for a while now. People like him. He does not ruffle feathers, and he never tries to steal the spotlight.

During this time, he shared his thoughts and, in the moment, due to his history, I understood his sentiments, but then the moment happened—I leaned in. He said, “I feel like I keep getting passed over. New projects, bigger roles, even the tough conversations—none of it’s coming my way. And I honestly don’t know why.”

I asked, “Do you speak up in meetings? Do you offer to take things on, or share your thoughts uninvited?”

He paused, and then said, “Not really. I’m always there. I just try to be respectful, stay in my lane, and wait to be asked.”

And I told him gently, “Maybe that’s it. You are available—but you are not really willing and at the very least, not viewed as willing.”

That hit something in him. He was doing all the right things, but staying back just enough to avoid risk. He was present—but not engaged. He realized he was unintentionally giving people the impression that he was fine with being overlooked. And if I am honest, I have seen myself in that too.

But when you move into intentional willingness, something shifts. You are not just saying “I’m here”—you are saying, “I am ready.”

You are leaning in.

You are asking questions.

You are paying attention.

You are not waiting to be told what to do—you are looking for where you can make a difference.

In prayer, it sounds like, “God, what are You showing me today? What do You want to do through me?”

At work, it sounds like, “Where can I help? What am I not seeing yet?”

In relationships, it might mean being the one who speaks up first, even when it feels awkward or risky.

Not because it suddenly appeared, but because your heart and mind are now open to see it.

God responds to that kind of posture. So do people. When we stop standing at a distance and step fully in, new clarity starts to surface. Trust deepens. Insight grows. Movement happens.

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13, ESV)

That is the invitation. Not to just be available. But to be willing.

So, if you are feeling stuck, overlooked, or unsure—ask yourself, "Am I just showing up, or am I truly leaning in?" Then reflect where in your life—spiritually, professionally, or relationally—have you been passively available instead of intentionally willing? What would it look like to lean in?